You Know You’re a Mom When…

When we become moms everything changes.  We can’t relate to our childless friends anymore, we focus all our time and attention on our kids, we become selfless so that our kids can have everything they need and we never have time to ourselves.  There are also some other things that we find ourselves doing or getting used to when we become mothers. 

You Know You’re a Mom When…

You open your purse to find random crayons, toys, action figures, etc…

If you are a mom you will relate to this, even if you don’t want to admit it.  I don’t even know how many times I open my purse to find countless crayons or little figures in my purse.  Actually, the other day I opened my purse and found a half-eaten lunch cake in my purse.  I now have to teach my children that my purse is not a garbage can.

Going to the store alone is a treat

Anytime I can duck out to the grocery store, Target, Walmart or the mall without the kids is such a nice daycation.  I dread taking them to the store with me because I am tired of random items jumping into my cart when I’m not looking.  (Even though my kids swear up and down that said items literally jumped into my cart and they had absolutely no part in it.)

You’ve gotten used to peeing and showering with an audience

I’d give my left arm to have ONE time during the day when I can pee without my kids asking me questions or showering without them banging on the shower door because of an argument they’re having.  I’m hoping that sometime before they’re in college I will be afforded the luxury of a peaceful pee or shower.

You find yourself watching Nick Jr., Disney Channel or another kid show when you have no kids around

Those damn shows grow on you and I actually like them.  Ugh, I hate to admit it.

Complete silence scares the crap out of you

Whenever my kids are home and there’s complete silence, I feel like I’m going to walk upstairs to find a mess…or that one child has killed the other.  You never know and that’s scary.

You’re out with your friends and you accidentally start speaking in your “child language”

A few years back I was in the car with a few of my friends and I heard someone coughing in the back seat.  I instinctually said “Hands up!” and everyone laughed at me.  The worst part?  No one else in the car was a mom beside me.  I’ve also actually told an employee at a shoe store that my “toesies” were too tight in a pair of shoes.  He must have been a parent because, fortunately, he completely understood.

You spend 15 minutes looking for the glasses that you have on your head

For anyone who says that “mommy brain” isn’t real, you’re completely mistaken.  Since I’ve become a mom, I have developed CRS — Can’t remember SHIT!  I’ve lost my sunglasses while they’re on my head, my phone while it’s in my hand, forget what I did 10 minutes ago, etc…  It makes me feel like I’m losing my mind, which I probably slowly am.

Laundry is something that is never ending

For the past 12 years I haven’t known what it’s like to go one day without doing laundry.  I’m not even sure if our hampers have a bottom because I’ve never been able to see it.  Frankly, I’m sick of doing laundry.

You’ve perfected your stuffed animal or doll voice

You can turn that voice on and off at the drop of a dime and if you fail to use that voice while making a stuffed animal talk, you get a dirty look.  All of our stuffed animals have their own unique voices and I actually love it.

You’ve literally pulled the car over

Is it just me or have you ever literally pulled the car over and threatened to turn around if your kids didn’t stop misbehaving?  I’ve done this plenty of times.  Unfortunately now they’re wise to the fact that I probably won’t turn the car around, so this doesn’t work for us anymore.

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