Before we have kids we usually have this vision of what we would be like as a mother. Personally, I envisioned that I would be this perfectly calm mother who has obedient kids that clean their rooms, help out around the house and don’t argue with each other. (Nice dream, right?) When you actually become a mother most of what you envisioned flies right out the window when you find out the reality of having kids. Here are some things that I swore I’d never do as a mother.
Using Technology as a Babysitter
Before I became a mother I envisioned spending all of my time with my kids, playing games, doing crafts, laughing and enjoying our together time. Don’t get me wrong, I did that for years and years but overlooked the simple fact that sometimes we all need “me time” as parents. As much as we don’t plan to use the TV, iPad or DVD player as a babysitter, occasionally we have to so we can have a few minutes to ourselves. My view on it is this: As long as we don’t sit our kids in front of the TV all day, it’s fine. Occasional time with technology won’t kill them, but it will save our sanity.
Resorting to Bribery
My mom used to always bribe me when I was a kid. She would bribe me to go to the doctors, do my chores, clean my room, etc… I never thought I would have to resort to bribery for my kids because, in my mind, they would do whatever I wanted them to do. Boy was I wrong. My kids don’t listen to a word I say and occasionally I need to resort to bribery to get them to do something. Yes, it sucks to have to do that, but I feel like that’s part of being a parent.
Sounding Like My Mother
I swore that I would never sound like my mother. I promised myself that I would never use any of the typical phrases that I’ve been hearing all of my life, but in the past few years, I’ve realized that I’ve been turning into her. I find myself telling my kids, “Don’t make me turn this car around.” or “Because I’m your mother, that’s why.” While I hate the fact that I’m turning into my mother, I also love it because my mom has always been a very strong, independent woman and a great mother.
Lying to My Children
“Toys R Us is closed…” I’m sure we’ve all used that line. As much as we want to be honest and open with our kids, occasionally we have to tell a little white lie. “They’re all out of frozen yogurt.” It’s not actually lying to our kids, it’s telling a little fiblet in order to save our sanity. Don’t we all do this?
Giving in to My Kids
I’m a pretty strong woman and this is why I thought I’d be able to resist the temptation to give in to my kids. I thought I could be strong when they had a meltdown in the middle of a store or just keep driving when they are begging for fast food. That was until I was in the middle of Toys R Us, my daughter had a complete meltdown over a doll she wanted and I gave in because my efforts were failing and people were starting to stare at me. From that day on I realized that it’s more important to pick your battles than to just plain say “No.” I also learned that sometimes you have to walk out of a store when your child is having a temper tantrum over a Barbie doll.
Lose My Absolute Shit
I thought I would be a pretty calm mom and reason with my kids instead of yelling. What I didn’t realize is that sometimes there’s no reasoning with your kids. Actually, things were pretty calm until my oldest hit 7. Once she hit 7 all hell started to break loose. She realized that she could yell, argue with me and attempt to get her own way. Now that she’s almost 12 and her sister is 9, I find myself screaming much more than I ever thought I would. The arguments with a 12 and 9 year old is absolutely crazy…”Don’t touch my stuff”, “Get out of my room”, “Don’t look at me”… These are things I hear on a daily basis and sometimes it just drives you crazy to the point of no return.
Want a Minivan
Never in a million years did I think I would want a minivan. In fact, I never even thought of buying a minivan until I rented one in February when I rented a beautiful 2017 Chrysler Pacifica. (Love that thing) Having my kids in separate rows made for such a beautifully quiet ride with absolutely no arguing. It was the best. I would give up my Dodge Dart in a second for a minivan, but I just got my Dodge Dart in March, so I probably shouldn’t trade it in so soon…. One day…